I had the emotional rollercoaster of a day yesterday.

God, I had the emotional rollercoaster of a day yesterday. Pictures to be added in a bit-
My “surprise” baby shower took place, happy! I learned that one of my bestest friends in the world has blank (arrrgh stupid spammers keep posting on this partiular one!), sad!
I’m not sure which to write about first. I guess I will start with Jen. I got an email first thing yesterday morning from her boyfriend’s daughter with the news. She said that she has a 30% chance of making it thru blank-ery and that after that she’ll have to do blank-o. So, I was prety much a complete basketcase yesterday and naturally my 2 main thoughts were focused on life and death all day. I can’t even begin to verbalize how special Jennifer is to me and I just can’t emotionally handle that right now. What’s worse is that even though there isn’t anything I can do about it, I am still desperately wanting and needing to just be there for her right now. I’m due in 4-5 weeks, wondering if I can make it there and back before Nia’s born. It’s just a complete shock. I can’t imagine losing her. Granted she’s TOUGH, as my mom pointed out and mom also said that she’ll make it, that there’s so much that can be done for blank these days. Still…. She’s someone that has ALWAYS been there for me, no matter what, she’s just truly one of a kind and I feel so fucking helpless. I haven’t talked to her about it and she’s having the blank-ery tomorrow. all I could do is call her sobbing and a wreck and tell her how much I truly, truly love her.
So all this before I have to go to the shower. I get to the shower, walk in, and proceed to have at least 3 episodes of breaking down. How in the world can I enjoy a party?? So I had a glass of wine, yes, a glass of WINE, I needed it. It was great to see everyone, even though it just went by so fast and were so many people that I didn’t get to talk to anyone for any amount of time it seems. By 4 pm, I was ready to tak a nap and absolutely dizzy from the extremeties of emotion.
I got so much nice stuff, Helena had a blast and got some stuff too! It was jsut a bittersweet day. I think I’ll have to blog more about it tomorrow or the next day, I’ve just got Jen on the mind and need to get through tomorrow. OH, and my cousin called last night, She had a blank-op-see and that might be blank as well.
So, you can all imagine the head space that I’M in right now.
It makes me appreciate you all and everyone in my life so I am wishing everyone the best and good blank as well. ladies, please get yearly check ups “down there”!

Thanks everyone

Thanks everyone who commented with their good vibes and wishes and sympathy on my last post. You all are so nice and thank you so much for the support!
i am pleased to say that Jen made it through her surgery, they think they got it all out and she won’t have to do chemo. It’s still very hard to deal with because everytime I call her she is sobbing and in immense pain, but I’m confident in the fact that she is one tough bitch and will MAKE IT!
Other news…. well, I’ll just highlight some stuff because otherwise, I’ll be here all day and at this stage the baby is sitting so high into my ribs that it’s uncomfortable to sit at the computer (another reason for the lack of blogging, my dears!)
I went to a dinner birthday for an OLD SCHOOL friend, Cindy last weekend. It was a blast! A bunch of us who haven’t gotten together in literally 10 years got together and it was TRIPPY! But in a really good way!~ Cindy’s a fellow knitter so I got her a gift certificate to a neat yarn store in providence. FINALLY, I am acquiring a local gaggle of gals that knit!
I am ready to have this baby! Meaning I actually have 99% of everything ready to go, a big difference from the last time when I was caught un-prepared. I’m still waiting on a friend to send me pics from the shower though! I want to post them up!
I have JUST started feeling pregnant. pretty good considering! With Helena from the 7th month on I was feeling all the symptoms! This one has been such a breeze! Now if she can only continue that through the delivery, I’m golden.
It looks like we will be traveling to Portland and Oakland this summer! Definitely Oakland, hopefully Portland! Anthony’s cousin Antoinette (whom I just LOVE) is getting married! God, I hope we can go, it’s cutting close to the 3 month mark where it’s ok to fly with a newborn, but aside from the wedding I would LOVE to get to see all of my old friends in Portland, even if for a half hour! So I am looking forward to that. Especially since 2 of my gal pals are in the rose city rollers now and I really want to see them in action!
In financial news.. I am putting my husband and I into STRICT financial bootcamp! Most of you probably know what a weirdo I am about banks and “the man”. I’m a little eccentric when it comes to certain things. For instance, I have NEVER had a credit card! I JUST got a cell phone! And as much as i DESPISE doing these things, it’s a necessary evil. So I just opened a checking/debit card account and I’ve applied for credit cards. Hey, I can build credit by buying patterns and maybe even some yarn, budget allowing, right??
After this baby I am going to NURSING school! 2 Years from now, I want to be back in portland, buying a house and having a “real” career!
It’s exciting to look forward to and hopefully will provide the will power and motivation I desperately need to get the ball rolling!
Knitting- I’ve kind of started to lag again. BUT my friend Mel just gave me a gift certificate to sakonnet purls….. I’ll be buying yarn and doing something soon!
It’s kind of hard to knit for me right now. I need to have this baby and lose some weight first! All my projects are on hold. Not to mention it’s kind of uncomfortable to knit with a huge belly in front of you!
I’m sure I’m forgeting alot of stuff right now, but I’ll hopefully write more later!

I’m now 3 centimeters and 70% effaced!

I’m now 3 centimeters and 70% effaced! Arrrrgh! I thought I would definitely be in labor BY NOW! So, I got my cervix massaged, GLAMOUROUS sounding, right?? Apparantly this *may or may not* get the ball rolling- It may just make me feel crampy. Well that was around noon and I don’t feel anything!
So, I get to be induced on the 13th if Nia hasn’t decided to evacuate!
Knitting has kind of been nill, although make sure to check out the upcoming issue of SPUN because, well, my skirt is in it! (and those chicks just rock \m/!) My lovely lovely friend Donna (aka betty blackeyes, she’s a derby babe) is modeling and I must say I am pretty darn tooting proud of this one! Donna is also going to teach me how to crochet one of these days!
I’ve been quite the social butterfly lately, most of my time has been filled with friends, some whom I hadn’t seen in a long time! It feels really good. I seem to hibernate for periods of time but now with spring sort-of here, I am feeling loads of motivation. Bad for the knitting but good for more important areas in life. I got my car registered here finally. I’m applying for school, I’m getting “important” papers in order and basically just kicking serious responsible like ASS! Basically just getting around to doing all of the stuff that I have been procrastinating on for so long.
Oh! And Helena got accepted into preschool for september! And she’s acting really excited about getting a sister, so let’s hope that once Nia is here, she’s STILL excited.
So, in a nutshell that’s it. It’s weird to blog about non-knitting related stuff!
Oh what the hell, here is a sneak peek of licorice bullet! (at the top of the page, still can’t quite get the hang of the placement of pics)

I promise I will write more about it SOON

hey everyone! I only have a precious few minutes here so I’ll just get down to it! Nia was born at 11:44 am on the 13th, I had her out in 6 contractions!! Easy birth! (however, Pitocin may be the most evil thing I ever had! OUCH! Contractions like you wouldn’t believe!)
I promise I will write more about it SOON, my boobies are killing me because the milk is coming in! Ouch again! Must go and nurse, but of course I couldn’t just post without photo’s so here you go! These are from the 1st day at the hospital JUST after giving birth~
PS, Now it’s Kaitlyn and Sylvie’s turn! Much love to you gals! I hope yours go as smooth as Nia!
Love ALL you ladies!

It’s attack of the spam!

It’s attack of the spam! Nothing pisses me off more than seeing 20 spammers on this site awaiting moderation and deletion! That being said, I’ll probably get like 40 more tacked on tomorrow, I should know, 13 years ago I did a brief stint as a tele-marketer. People who were rude immediately got put back into the re-dial list. Must be karma.
So, I’m like the worst friend ever. It’s not just my poor blog that’s been suffering too! But SPRING is here and I am finally starting to get out and about and up to being social. THAT being said, it’s also saturday, Anthony’s home- so I can actually write a bit! (and I have a TON of emails)
I want to thank everyone for the congrats and sweet thoughts and wishes! I wish I had the time to write everyone back personally! I hope everyone understands and knows that I appreciate the comment’s and feel guilty that I can’t get back and reply personally or even read blogs too much!
having 2 kids is overwhelming! I knew it was gonna be rough but I wasn’t prepared for Helena going completely nuts! Oh, she loves Nia, wants to hug her, kiss her, hold her, calls her a cutie pie…. But then when I am breast feeding or holding the baby, flies right off the deep end and starts misbehaving!
It’s this endless cycle of her doing something wrong, us yelling at her (after repeated “nice guy” attempts”) and then her misbehaving even WORSE! My nerves are a little frazzled. As I write this she is in the other room screaming and crying. I don’t know what she did, I just heard Anthony yell “No!! STOP!!!”
Now Nia is crying! Arrrrrgh!
knitting is impossible for a while, but the skirt is up in spun!! Yey! Check it out!
What else? OH! Nia was “tongue tied”!!!!! Maybe that’s why my boobs hurt so much- my niples looked like the tip of a lipstick! And cracked, red, sore… Plus the engorgement period… Thank god they gave me a bunch of tylenol 3’s and motrin’s! At 6 days old, we got that thingie clipped and it’s been smooth sailing ever since! But we literally cringed at the thought and action of the procedure, uggggghhh.
As a treat for my birthday and mother’s day I bought me and Helena roller skates! I can’t wait till they arrive!
I’m sure there’s much more to write about, but I just don’t have the time!
Love all you ladies so much!

I have the most amazing girl friends, I swear!!

I have the most amazing girl friends, I swear!!
I’ve been meaning to get these up forever, but it’s been hectic and then yesterday the modem took a crap, so…
First I got a super cool onesie from Pam! It says “future knitter” and has a skull with needle crossbones! Totally digging that!
Then I recieved a what I like to call the “tear-jerker” package from Sylvie! She designed and crocheted a BEAUTIFUL sweater for Nia, but she didn’t stop there! She also made a matching kitty cat, complete with a tail and thingy inside that makes noise, AND a book that you iron on pictures to for the baby! I am so keeping this for Nia for when she has kids of her own someday!
The yarn is a beautiful green and plum, chez plum! And if you love it as much as I do, I believe she will be selling the patterns on her website!
And then, the beautiful MMJ sent me a tropical dress with matching (cute!) bonnet/kerchief/hat and matching pink and yellow socks!
Ladies, I can not thank you enough! I love them all as I am sure will Nia, and I will definitely post some pics of her modeling them once she fits into them! I love you!!!
So, sorry for the pictures- taken in the co-sleeper that nobody sleeps in. I have had to move Helena into a “big girl” bed. Amazingly the transistion has gone great so far! But yeah, the 150 dollar co-sleeper is basically turned into an expensive diaper holder. Har!
Oh, and my brandy new roller skates have arrived.
I thought I was saving money, but these suckers have ended up costing me 175 bucks! First they were too small. EVEN THOUGH the web page says “LADIES! GO DOWN A SIZE! Speed skates are in men’s sizes!”. Now my chuck taylors are a size 7 1/2, so I figured, cool- these’ll fit! NO! Too small!
So I call the place up and they make me pay for shipping and handling both ways!!!!!!!!! I’m pissed enough about that.
*******NEVER, NEVER buy ANYTHING from Low Price Skates! They suck! Get them from Sin City Skates instead!
So, monday my new skates come and they have some stupid “sonic, america’s drive in” wheels on them!!! Arrrrgh! So they are supposedly sending me new wheels, which haven’t arrived STILL! I am sending the other ones back COD!!!
So that’s my gripe of the month.
Nia is great! She’s already like 11 pounds! She’s my little chub-chubs! I am now a HUMAN COW and am on call constantly!
What else? My cousin is in town and roller derby is tonight! Yey!
More later, duty calls!

Hey all! I’m not dead

Hey all! I’m not dead, I’m still knitting, I’m just BUSY!!!
I miss all of you and I promise I’ll post some good stuff up soon! Meanwhile, me and pam (lick my sticks) are gearing up for some roller derby. You know they call the husbands “derby widows”? I wonder what to call my poor (and faithful) readers??!!
Nia is doing excellent as is Helena- we went to the bay area and let me tell you- I was planning on visiting some of my sister knitters there but we all ended up getting the FLU!!!
Also, the spam is unbelievable on here! So nazi spammers, F*** OFF!

I did to my comments

If anyone knows what in the hell I did to my comments – apparantly no one can leave one! I tried too and it never showed up! Anyone with wordpress knowledge?

Aside from that- I totally spaced that it was a holiday weekend and the tourists were out in droves! I love summer here but the tourists defintitely ruin any enjoyment of it. TOO MANY people!

I’ve managed to lose 20 pounds! But I still need to lose more! And I am actually going to attempt knitting this week! I may have a few things to add either to the freebirds page- maybe the store section.. we’ll see.

It’s getting so hot out here….. and my stupid wheels STILL haven’t arrived!

Oh! And apparantly (I’m so out of the knitting loop!) PAM has a new/same blog. She’s moved! Find it HERE!

I am going to be attempting to write more!

So I am going to be attempting to write more!
last night I had my first skills practice for derby! It was SOOOO much fun, but believe me, it’s not as easy as it looks. I definitely have to practice more and am sorely in need of endurance training! Providence skates on cement! It’s slippery and fast, like you are constantly doing cross-overs so the thigh muscles really get worked. Pam was so sick and gave it her all, I am extremely proud of her. It was by far the funnest thing I’ve done in a long while and I am looking forward to losing some of this left over baby weight. I haven’t exercised in like a year! I’m not a gym chick, so…
In knitting news, I had a dress that I made for Sylvies oldest daughter, Prune and guess what???!! MY CAT PISSED ON IT!!!! I’m not too happy about that.
So I need to get back to that. My next 2 design projects will be for Sylvie! And then something for Candy’s baby (due in Nov.).
I was supposed to get some yarn from crystal palace but haven’t recieved it or heard from the person that was supposed to be sending it! I don’t wanna ask them, it seems rude! Oh well…
Nia is doing amazing and at 4 months she is 16 pounds!!! Holy butterball turkey! She’s as sweet as can be, which is good because Helena is definitely going through the terrible three’s. Nia sleps through the night and only cries when she’s super tired or hungry! She’s a peach!
I miss having the time to read through all of your blogs. It’s hard for me to get a minute to even write in my own! But I am going to try to get caught up with you all and see how you guys have been doing and what cool new projects and wip’s you’re doing! Do you know that the new knitty is out and I haven’t even looked yet?? I feel like a knitting traitor.
I’ll admit, my new love is roller derby and it’s kind of in first place right now. I really love the game and the exercise, I won’t be losing any weight sitting and knitting. So bear with me! I’ll be designing and havign new patterns soon!
I’m debating on whether or not to submit the Kaitlyn sweater or to just put it up for free…. I’ll think on that and decide shortly!
Love you all and thanks for still checking in and reading!!!
Feel free to comment with what you have been up to!
And thanks Dani for the tips, I’ll try to get on that soon!

Okay, actually I got yarn…

Okay, actually I got yarn… from crystal palace!!!
It’s dreamy! It’s called Bunny Hop and I’m gonna swatch it up tonight! I will post the pics tomorrow because my camera batter needs re-charging! Thank you Susan! Thank you Crystal Palace!!!
It’s sooooo soft and ‘bouncy’, I know that sounds weird but when ever you can, feel it and you’ll see, like charmin!
In other GREAT news…
Saturday night was our big bout providence vs. NYC..
I am so extremely proud to say that our very own Rhode Island Riveters WON!!!!!!!
And I mean REALLY won!
Try 111 to 90! Take that New York!!! We Ruled!
See for yourself.. NY is red and providence is blue….

In the beginning, that’s a skater called “Beyonslay” – it was her birthday so that’s why she’s getting her rear end smacked!